Focus on a blog!

Check out this blog! I really like the message- Are you REALLY pro-life?

"So I ask you again, are you REALLY pro-life?

Let's be clear and make no confusion about my heart on this. I am not saying at all that if you use birth control of any kind, you are pro-abortion. I know many different families with many different views on children, and I know how much each one of them loves the Lord. I try and support all my friends in their personal decision that are between them, their husbands, and God.

But I cannot get away from the hypocrisy of it all when it comes to the pro-life movement in general.

Some of the women I knew, who I KNOW are pro-life, were so horrified when they found out my husband and I were getting a reversal and decided to let God bless us with more children. As many as He wanted actually. They were absolutely disgusted. How can I translate that with their STAUNCH pro-life stance? I just can't."

- That's a quote from this blog! Enjoy!

picture from here

Yesterday we celebrated the Epiphany (which is actually on Jan, 6th).


O God, Who by the guidance of a star didst this day reveal Thine only-begotten Son to the Gentiles, mercifully grant that we, who know Thee now by faith, may be so led as to behold with our eyes the beauty of Thy majesty. Through the same Lord Jesus Christ, Thy Son, Who liveth and reigneth with Thee in the unity of the Holy Ghost, God, world without end. Amen.



I want to live daily this Epiphany- the knowledge of God. The excitement of what really happened! The picture of the child I put- I love it! It's a picture of a child's sheer delight- likely of something they just learned or saw.


We are back home from our travels. T's first day back to work is today. Kids come back tomorrow. Now I'm trying to get the house in order. Not taking down Christmas yet (Waiting until next week- after the 12 days!) I even got a couple new ornaments that I hung up. Now is also the time to get sales for next year! I had hoped to get a "first year married" type ornament (or make one!) and maybe some garland for future years. We will see- I've kept my eyes opened, but with travel I haven't seen much.

I'm out of laundry soap- it lasted a good while. I need to go buy a new bar and make more! That's on my agenda for the day I suppose. Then doing laundry, vacuuming, putting away stuff we had taken with us or got during our travels. T got a lot of work clothes- my parents took him work clothes shopping and my mom bought him a suit. It needs tailoring in the pants. I also want to slowly get items tailored to fit him. He always wears slacks, a dress shirt, and tie for work (a teacher- band director) and I want him to look his best. Much of his clothes were too big and/or old. They stuff too big I hope we can get tailored down to look a bit more clean-fit for him.

He loves his pocket watch I got him for Christmas. I didn't get engraving done, but I might in the future. I am supposed to for his wedding ring too... just unsure of what to put on either of them! Any suggestions?

And I'm not!

This picture is pretty. :-) Trying to remember to think about Jesus and the scenario he came to our world in. I love the song "Mary, Did you know?" b/c it talks about it.

So, not pregnant. Good news, I suppose. I'm really torn... I am excited for motherhood and I hope for it. However, I really need to find out where I want to be in life. I feel obligated to find a career, but I don't know what I want to work in. I'm trying to make an appointment with a Doula to learn about it and see if it's something I'm interested in.I want to be a SAHM.... but, T's salary is small and It'd be nice to have the extra income- especially since there is no child right now! 

People talk about being "called" to something...I wish I knew what I was called to. I don't hear God. I don't know where I am supposed to be!

T is sick with the flu- I've been with him for 4.5 years and I don't think I've ever seen him sick with anything except sinus stuff. Poor baby. I've been trying to take care of him. 

This weekend we went dress shopping for Reba's bridesmaids dresses. The number one pick so far I like a lot. It's not up on David's web page yet though, or I'd post it.

Mary, did you know?

Mary did you know that your baby boy will one day walk on water?
Mary did you know that your baby boy will save our sons and daughters?
Did you know that your baby boy has come to make you new?
This child that you've delivered, will soon deliver you.

Mary did you know that your baby boy will give sight to a blind man?
Mary did you know that your baby boy will calm a storm with his hand?
Did you know that your baby boy has walked where angels trod?
And when you kiss your little baby, you have kissed the face of God.

The blind will see, the deaf will hear and the dead will live again.
The lame will leap, the dumb will speak, the praises of the lamb.

Mary did you know that your baby boy is Lord of all creation?
Mary did you know that your baby boy will one day rule the nations?
Did you know that your baby boy is heaven's perfect Lamb?
This sleeping child you're holding is the great I am.

My favorite version is by Michael Crawford.

Bible study challenge

One of my friends on facebook is doing a bible study challenge. Here is mine for today

Hebrews 10:24-25 (New International Version)

24 And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, 25 not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.

As a Catholic, I'm not supposed to miss church- but I never understood why. Sure, keep the Sabbath holy- I can pray at home. So what? I don't feel like getting dressed, going out, being an example to the children today. (I sub at the Catholic school so I see many of my kids there, plus I work with the youth group.) I don't want to sing in the choir today- I just wanna relax!
This, old testament mind you, verse, reminds me of why we go to church. Why we worship together. For many many reasons, but to encourage each other. This is why all the church "extra-curriculars" are so important. Sure, one girl- new, in the choir, in a weird age right now (newly married, no kids-- I find it hard to make a lot of friends!) 1 hour of church a week- no one will get to know me. As I get involved -the choir, volunteering, going to dinners at the church and talks, I will get to know others. I will be encouraged and be able to offer encouragement to others.

Thanksgiving 4

Today, I am thankful for my church community. I am thankful for being able to substitute at a school affiliated with my faith- to work with and know people in my community and church. They help hold me accountable.

When God leaves you

http://www.spirituallyunequalmarriage.com/my_weblog/2010/10/when-gods-not-there.html

Really enlightening!

Things on my mind

I've gotten into this (annoying) habit of waking up at 4:30 to go to the bathroom, and then not falling back asleep! I want my last 2 hours of sleep, darn it! ;-)

Anyways, I believe I have mentioned it before, my husband and I are "not preventing, but not trying" for a baby. There IS a chance this month, and it's driving me crazy because I want to know. It's only 8 days after ovulation, and I should wait for at least 10-11 to take a test. I'm also trying to convince myself to wait and see if I miss a period or not--> I mean, I can't start writing a pregnancy test into my monthly budget :P that just seems silly. Now I'm noticing signs (some people call them 'symptoms' which I avoid, as it implied an illness!) and I don't know if I am 'making them up' because I want to be, or if it's possible... it's hard to imagine it could be possible!!!!

I've been questioning things about the church a lot lately. Not a bad thing alone, but it's odd that suddenly I'm so defensive and confused about things that never bothered me.... the devil at work? Or me just being a little concerned--> I don't throw myself into faith- and whenever I do, I always end up questioning and doubting things. I've turned very conservative in the past year and maybe I resent it a little....which leads me to my next thought.

I was doing well losing weight, the few months before the wedding. I got myself together and just did it. And after the wedding I dropped doing it. Now I need to pick it up, and it's so difficult! I guess part of me doesn't want to- I don't want to give up pizza and coffee and cheese! And I want to lose weight for when I have kids--> I don't want to be a bad example. And as silly as it is, I want people to be able to tell  I am pregnant by looking at me- not just fat! I don't want to be pregnant but just look fat.
Of course, I may be stuck here. 0.0 If I am. Which I don't know.

Anyways, these are the things on my mind today. Any words of wisdom?

Thoughts on abortion and NFP

First thing: I'm having a lot of trouble with blogger- it says "service unavailable" a lot and won't load... anyone else?

Anyway, to my topic. On the thought of "Respect Life Sunday" yesterday, a forgotten part of "respecting life" is the conception part. First of all- our society has created a very negative image of pregnancy. Even the word. Pregnancy. We impregnate a cow. Preggers- that term makes me angry! It sounds dumb. You can google "symptoms of pregnancy"--> doesn't that sound like a disease?! What happened to "with child"? Doesn't that sound happier? We don't celebrate life- it's a fight, here in America. Trying to get insurance to cover the birth, trying to get maternity or paternity leave... it's a fight.

Life begins at conception. Period. As such, abortion is wrong- the act of killing a unborn child (Intentional, as compared to accidental- miscarriage.) There is no "choice" in the matter- unless you believe in killing others because they inconvenience you- because you invite them into your home--> Yes, the sexual act is an invitation to your world. You wouldn't tell a friend "Hey- drop by sometime." and then kill them when they come over, b/c you are "too busy." 

I am "pro-choice." I am pro choice as in "you made the CHOICE to have sex.... you CHOSE sex---> something that gives life. You chose life." If you want to chose to not have a child, please, don't have sex.

I am practicing NFP- natural family planning. For those who are unfamiliar with the process, this is what it is.

The female body releases an egg part way through the cycle- this we call ovulation. The body, in preparation for this, creates mucus. The point of the mucus is to help sperm live for more than a few minutes/ 1 day. Otherwise, without mucus, pregnancy would be very rare! You would have to have sex basically as you ovulate!... So in NFP we watch the mucus. When it's there, and the more fertile type, you know ovulation is coming. The couple would abstain during the time if they were wanting to not conceive.  We also chart temperature- it helps us know when ovulation happens, and we can use it to determine pregnancy. The charting of mucus and temperature takes a whopping 1 min a day for me. It's not a big deal. 

It's 98-99 percent effective. More so than birth control pills and condoms- most women are not taught simple things about the pill such as "you need to take it at the exact same time, every day." If you miss, the % goes down. Let's not mention the unpleasurable side effects of the pill- I found this page  which I am not familiar with, but lists more links to the pill than I have heard of. The pill will at least admit to, according to epigee

"Are there any side effects or health complications associated with hormonal birth control?
There are a number of side effects and potential health risks associated with the use of hormonal contraceptives.

•  
  • Weight gain
  • Increase or decrease in acne
  • Nausea and vomiting (particularly for the first few cycles)
  • Dizziness
  • Headaches
  • Depression
  • Vaginal infections
  • High blood pressure
  • Loss of libido
  • Blood clots in legs, lungs, heart or brain
  • Stroke
  • Liver tumors (rare)
  • Heart attacks
  • Gallstones (rare)
  • Jaundice (rare)
  • Possibly cervical cancer
  • Spotting and irregular vaginal bleeding
  • Longer periods
  • Amenorrhea for extend periods
  • Headaches
  • Anxiety and nervousness
  • Pain in lower abdominals
  • Dizziness
  • Loss of libido
  • Depression
  • Increase or decrease in acne
  • Skin rash or darkened patches of skin
  • Appetite changes
  • Weight gain
  • Tender breasts
  • Increase or decrease in facial and body hair
  • Possibly hair loss
  • Vaginal discharge
  • Bone density loss
  • Enlarged ovarian follicles
  • Pain or itching (usually for a brief period of time)
  • Norplant users: infection at the site of implantation
  • Ectopic pregnancy
  • Certain cancers"

 Well, let's say you want to take the pill anyways- desipite all the side effects. Well, we determined that life begins at conception- when sperm and egg meet. Let's see what webmd says about how BC pill works.

"Hormonal contraceptives (the pill, the patch, and the vaginal ring) all contain a small amount of synthetic estrogen and progestin hormones. These hormones work to inhibit the body's natural cyclical hormones to prevent pregnancy. Pregnancy is prevented by a combination of factors. The hormonal contraceptive usually stops the body from releasing an egg from the ovary. Hormonal contraceptives also change the cervical mucus to make it difficult for the sperm to find an egg. Hormonal contraceptives can also prevent pregnancy by making the lining of the womb inhospitable for implantation. "

I bolded a line. Any guess why? It is not PREVENTING PREGNANCY.... if sperm and egg meet (thus life is given, by God), and then as part of your I-don't-want-to-have-a-baby plan you take this pill that forces the body to thicken the lining, so the womb is "inhospitable for implantation" then the newly formed baby does what? died... The baby is aborted, because you asked your body to- no, forced your body to. It's an abortion still, even though you didn't even know it happened. Sad huh?

Some people say "Well, abstaining is not good for a couple." I found this. "NFP is not just a "method" based on physiology. Rather, NFP is based on VIRTUE. It is based on sexual self-control, which is necessary for a healthy marriage. There are times in any marriage when spouses have to put aside their desire for sex because of sickness, fatigue, travel, or other reasons. In a healthy marriage, love is shown in many ways, and not all these ways of showing love are physical. In fact, to refrain from sex when necessary is itself an act of love. Why? Because in effect the spouses then say to each other, "I did not marry you just for sexual pleasure. I married you because I love you. You are a person, not an object. When I have sex with you, it is because I freely choose to show you my love, not because I need to satisfy an urge." Using NFP requires abstinence from intercourse during the fertile days if a pregnancy has to be avoided. This actually can strengthen the couple's sexual life. When the spouses know that they can abstain for good reasons, they also come to trust each other more, and avoid the risk of treating each other primarily as objects of sexual pleasure rather than persons. Artificial birth control, on the other hand, gives free reign to the temptation to make pleasure the dominant element, rather than virtue. It encourages couples to think that sexual self-control is not necessary. It can encourage them to become slaves to pleasure." It really can be good for a couple to abstain. Much like we (should) abstain before marriage- even with our hormones rage-ing, we abstain for love of each other, and love of God. Abstaining has to happen sometimes, and plus- it's not the end of the world! Date- remember those sweet, fun things you do before marriage? You can still feel love without sex all the time- if not, it's time to do some talking!

Another interesting fact. "but one of the hidden secrets of using NFP is that is actually has a low divorce rate, 4.2% to be exact. Couples who use other forms of birth control experience a divorce rate of almost 60%." This is because the couple must talk- must take responsibility together (rather than all the responsibility on the woman.) Rather than once a year "Do we want kinds this year? No? Ok- then I take the pill for another year." A example I heard/read once was a couple. Female: "It's my fertile time. Do we want to, even though it means we might get pregnant?" Male: "No! We don't have the money for another child. You spend it all shopping with your girlfriends...." etc. Suddenly we are talking about REAL ISSUES that otherwise may not have been addressed. All this communication--> Helps keep divorce rates down.

The hardest thing, I've told friends about NFP and I've had many say they are interested in it after they are married (and these women are having premarital sex). They don't trust it- but they are willing to bet it all on a pill? A pill that hurts the body, hurts the environment (another long story), a pill that- if not taken exactly right- will not work? Why don't we trust nature? Why don't we trust what our bodies do- what they are meant to do. If you have a stuffy nose, a sinus headache, and a cough- you put together those signs and go "I have a sinus infection!" Likewise, can't we do the same and say "I'm fertile!" ?

Some pages I got info from, not tagged.

http://www.nfpworksblog.com/nfp-faqs/

So, just some food for thought. 

Sept 3rd, a cut from LJ, adoration

I went to adoration the other day. It was nice- I'm proud I did. I was nervous and wavered for a good 10 mins, but I finally did. It was nice to have a quiet time to be with Jesus, and to just pray. I tend to get distracted praying- I have trouble with focus. This was a chance to focus more. Does anyone else notice they have trouble focusing while praying? What do you do to keep your mind where you want it?

Sept 1, Why Veil?

I'm wanting to veil, and people have asked why. Here is my research//thoughts so far.

It doesn't have to be a veil. It can be a hat, veil, hajab, etc...

There are several reasons...

1- The veil is historically part of church tradition- in catholic and protestant churches, until fairly recently.

2- It's a symbol of chastity and of purity.

    A- It is more covering- in church I prefer to not see mini-skirts and really low V neck shirts (which there is more and more of these days.) I understand it's the fashion of the times- I have a very large chest and it's hard to not show cleavage! But, I try. The best for God! Veiling is (historically) another layer- more covered, more modest- does this make sense?? (I just woke up...still forming thoughts in general today!)

    B- 1 Corinthians 11 talks about a woman covering her head while in prayer (such as in church.) This verse is sometimes controversial based on translations and on "opinions" of what this means. However, the basic idea behind it is that a woman covers her hair to show love/devotion/respect/chastity to her husband.

"2 Now I commend you because you remember me in everything and maintain the traditions even as I delivered them to you. 3 But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife [1] is her husband, and the head of Christ is God. 4 Every man who prays or prophesies with his head covered dishonors his head, 5 but every wife [2] who prays or prophesies with her head uncovered dishonors her head, since it is the same as if her head were shaven. (At the time, a woman would have her head shaved or cut short as punishment for bad behavior (sexually) )6 For if a wife will not cover her head, then she should cut her hair short. But since it is disgraceful for a wife to cut off her hair or shave her head, let her cover her head. 7 For a man ought not to cover his head, since he is the image and glory of God, but woman is the glory of man. (meaning woman was created for man, because it was “not good for him to be alone.”) 8 For man was not made from woman, but woman from man. 9 Neither was man created for woman, but woman for man. 10 That is why a wife ought to have a symbol of authority on her head, because of the angels. [3] 11 Nevertheless, in the Lord woman is not independent of man nor man of woman; 12 for as woman was made from man, so man is now born of woman. And all things are from God. 13 Judge for yourselves: is it proper for a wife to pray to God with her head uncovered? 14 Does not nature itself teach you that if a man wears long hair it is a disgrace for him, 15 but if a woman has long hair, it is her glory? For her hair is given to her for a covering. 16 If anyone is inclined to be contentious, we have no such practice, nor do the churches of God."

3- It is beautiful. When you wear it, you can’t help but to be in the mindset of church/prayer. It’s wearing the clothing fitting for the time. (does this make sense?)

I might come edit this later, but this is the idea.


EDIT on Sept 18:  http://feelinfeminine.com/?p=1001 a link I found today with more info on veiling.

Aug 27th, I'm subbing

I have this period off so I'm writing for a few.

That girl I was having problems with- that was a friend of T's.... we ended that for the most part. He finally wrote with her on FB and they are on an ok note. I never talked to her again. It's easier for me to not have friends like that. I need friends who can respect my believes- even if they totally disagree with them.

On that note, I was going to write a bit about me and Catholicism. I've gotten a lot more conservative in my expectations within the church. I bet that has a lot to do with the church I go to now- it's fairly conservative, especially the priest. A lot of women in the choir wear the veil (which I love!) But on conservative thoughts--- For example, went I went to a church in Biloxi, 5pm mass, the Eucharistic ministers were wearing jeans! I understand that the 5pm is usually a college/youth mass, but I feel that if you are involved, such as an EM, you need to be dressed nice. It's the body and blood! You are touching it! You need to be clean, dressed nice, and in a holy mindset! T's mom actually gave me a hard time about being bothered by that. I also don't get it when people are in short skirts, tank tops, low neck shirts, etc.... It's gotta be a distraction to guys- it is to me- a married female! I mean, come on! Dress appropriate to the occasion!!


I also really like the veils. Several women in my church wear them and I love it! It's so pretty. I know it's more historical church (pre-Vatican II) I asked Fr. about it and he said "In the early church wearing a veil gave a woman an authority she would not have normally been accorded. In terms of society at that time, this was a big deal and a step forward. Wearing a veil today can refer to one's chastity or virginity and thus is appropriate for those who have made the vow of chastity or live chaste lives in marriage (fidelity). But many women find it demeaning. I'm not sure why completely." So yeah- I always thought it had to do with "purity" but chastity makes more sense. Chastity is such an important and new thought- especially as married- but it's something I'm studying on some and I find interesting. Chastity within marriage- hadn't known there was such thing.

Anyways, I'm rambling so I'll log and write later!