pregnancy and whatnot

So, I've been putting off writing. I'm not sure why. Busy, then without internet over Thanksgiving.... yeah. No good excuse here.

My big thing, which I haven't wanted to write about is my lack of a period.


I do Natural Family Planning, but we are not using it to determine sex or not. It's so I can keep up with what my period is doing. I have irregular, but after charting 4 cycles, I can see I have some regularity. But, my cycle lengths have been 40, 28, 34, 30, and now... ? I usually only have 8-10 days after ovulation before my period starts. However, I haven't been charting long, and I know my body has always been irregular.
Right now I am 19 days after ovulation. I took a pregnancy test on day (after ovulation) 13 and 17. Both Negative.
I am not having morning sickness. I was cramping a bit yesterday and today but so far no blood. (I thought I was starting.) I think my hormones are crazy (from either pregnancy or really late period) and I've been feeling really depressed and I'm super stressed about not knowing what's going on. People don't seem to understand "wait another week" feels like eternity. It should show up on tests, or else I should be pregnant. I'm ok with either- I really am. I just want to know. I'm scared, a bit.

I know a lot of you don't comment, but please.... what do I do?!?!