out of town

I've been out of town, thus not posting. I hope everyone had an amazing Christmas! Keep celebrating- 12 days of Christmas? Do we not celebrate the birth of a child beyond day 1?


I'm still excited about working towards being a doula. However, while I work towards that, I want to get a job- even PT. I want to have time to keep my house up and volunteer, but I want to help us get rid of the debt we have from our pasts.

I hope everyone has a great new year! My goal- prayer! I will pray more, really work on my relationship with God.

Career searching

This is something I don't think I've talked to much about. My degree is in music education, but I know I don't want to teach- especially in the public school setting. However, 37K student loans require payment, which requires a job! But currently my loans are on hold (as I'm jobless) and I'm searching for what my passions are. I talked on the phone with a life coach/family friend who helped me figure out some things. I wanted to share this.

What drives you? <-- Many people think "Money" but in reality- money motivates us (b/c we want to care for our family, etc) but MONEY itself isn't the actual drive. We just want to have it.
--- What makes you ticked off? What makes you happy? - Solving this can help you figure out what you truly care about. I narrowed mine down to
a- Personal (human) dignity. The TSA stuff with the full body scanners and pat downs makes me livid. Why? B/c i see it as an infringment of our rights and human dignity.
b- education of women- in terms of their own body, their rights, etc. For example, I am using Natural Family Planning (NFP). It's about seeing what the woman's body does naturally (it TELLS you when you are fertile!) and using these signs appropriately. If you want babies- now is the time to do it! If not, then you shouldn't right now! Women should know the harms of birth control, inducing labor, and other things. We need to be educated about our choices!
c- my faith.I want to do what is right, and help encourage others to do what is right- through education!

I always knew education was important to me (my major!) but what I was not sure. But as I talked to this friend, I narrowed down some fields I may be interested in learning more about. One of them being a Doula or labor assistant. I've never been in the labor room, but I have been reading and researching about choices there are and what they mean- I find it interesting to know how it works. Women have been birthing babies since the beginning of time! Why suddenly are we trying to control it? Our controlling it is HARMING the baby and mother!
I contacted a local Doula and she sounds great- we talked and got along really well. She gave me some information. I'm hoping to sit in on some of her meetings/classes to see what she does and how I enjoy it. She's actually converting right now to Catholicism and is interested in incorporating NFP into her practice! She is working with CAPPA on a program that she thinks it right up my alley in terms of interesting and morals. I'm excited to learn about it and I'm really thinking I'm called to this.My dad is offering to pay half the price of the coursework, should I chose to follow this.

It also makes me happy- it's a blend of what I believe and my values with my parents faith and values (more new age/naturalistic).

So this is where I am now!

Give-a-way

Giveaway Wine Cork

Check it out! Her work it very cute and I hope I can win one! Or else I'll have to go buy one sometime!

No reading

Those who blog- how did you get people to read? Does it matter to you if people read it?

I know I don't have people reading mine- maybe 1-2 people occasionally. Which is fine, but sometimes I need advice! I ask on here, but then if no one is reading.... yeah. Doesn't work so well!

demons?

 

(from http://www.parascientifica.com/articles.php?a=89)

Do you believe in Demons? Do they effect us? Can they "mess" with us? How? How do you recognize it? How do you deal with it?

Is it real?

T believes so. I'm scared to.

And I'm not!

This picture is pretty. :-) Trying to remember to think about Jesus and the scenario he came to our world in. I love the song "Mary, Did you know?" b/c it talks about it.

So, not pregnant. Good news, I suppose. I'm really torn... I am excited for motherhood and I hope for it. However, I really need to find out where I want to be in life. I feel obligated to find a career, but I don't know what I want to work in. I'm trying to make an appointment with a Doula to learn about it and see if it's something I'm interested in.I want to be a SAHM.... but, T's salary is small and It'd be nice to have the extra income- especially since there is no child right now! 

People talk about being "called" to something...I wish I knew what I was called to. I don't hear God. I don't know where I am supposed to be!

T is sick with the flu- I've been with him for 4.5 years and I don't think I've ever seen him sick with anything except sinus stuff. Poor baby. I've been trying to take care of him. 

This weekend we went dress shopping for Reba's bridesmaids dresses. The number one pick so far I like a lot. It's not up on David's web page yet though, or I'd post it.

Mary, did you know?

Mary did you know that your baby boy will one day walk on water?
Mary did you know that your baby boy will save our sons and daughters?
Did you know that your baby boy has come to make you new?
This child that you've delivered, will soon deliver you.

Mary did you know that your baby boy will give sight to a blind man?
Mary did you know that your baby boy will calm a storm with his hand?
Did you know that your baby boy has walked where angels trod?
And when you kiss your little baby, you have kissed the face of God.

The blind will see, the deaf will hear and the dead will live again.
The lame will leap, the dumb will speak, the praises of the lamb.

Mary did you know that your baby boy is Lord of all creation?
Mary did you know that your baby boy will one day rule the nations?
Did you know that your baby boy is heaven's perfect Lamb?
This sleeping child you're holding is the great I am.

My favorite version is by Michael Crawford.

laundry day

Yeah... so the response is what I figured! Fair enough- I don't post often enough and don't have anyone reading this, but I'm ok with that. After all- half of blogging is to keep the self sane!

Today is laundry day!I'm not sure how T and I go through so much laundry in a week!I usually do a mid-week quick wash, and I didn't this week. On top of clothes, gotta wash the towels, dish towels, bed linens, etc! Meanwhile, I'm wasting time on FB (bad Lori!) and figuring out student loans. Ugh! I hate student loans. Very much! I might watch another episode on netflix of Jane Eyre.

And I'm still using my new homemade recipes for dishes (oh yeah! Got some of those to do too!) and laundry and I like them!

pregnancy and whatnot

So, I've been putting off writing. I'm not sure why. Busy, then without internet over Thanksgiving.... yeah. No good excuse here.

My big thing, which I haven't wanted to write about is my lack of a period.


I do Natural Family Planning, but we are not using it to determine sex or not. It's so I can keep up with what my period is doing. I have irregular, but after charting 4 cycles, I can see I have some regularity. But, my cycle lengths have been 40, 28, 34, 30, and now... ? I usually only have 8-10 days after ovulation before my period starts. However, I haven't been charting long, and I know my body has always been irregular.
Right now I am 19 days after ovulation. I took a pregnancy test on day (after ovulation) 13 and 17. Both Negative.
I am not having morning sickness. I was cramping a bit yesterday and today but so far no blood. (I thought I was starting.) I think my hormones are crazy (from either pregnancy or really late period) and I've been feeling really depressed and I'm super stressed about not knowing what's going on. People don't seem to understand "wait another week" feels like eternity. It should show up on tests, or else I should be pregnant. I'm ok with either- I really am. I just want to know. I'm scared, a bit.

I know a lot of you don't comment, but please.... what do I do?!?!