some thoughts

I didn't come here to write with a purpose, but just because I feel so passionately about something, yet no catalyst.

Abortion makes me angry. It makes me passionate. We live in a times right now where we should be open to letting everyone make all the damned decisions they want- and we should step back and let them. Why? WHY? It makes me so angry. It makes me angry b/c it's ingrained in us from an early age. It makes me angry because it's hard to push away the thoughts that it would make us a terrible person if we fight for what we KNOW is right.

I have a made a new friend. He is... very different than I. We banter on about things, and he is pretty much my polar opposite on most topics. He says that many things I consider "right" or "Wrong" are not as such- they are, in fact "opinion" and thus cannot be pushed onto others. "Sleeping around is wrong"- that's an opinion, and unfair to use the word "Wrong" on because that implies moral absolutes. Or something. But, in the end, I still feel I am right about things.

I want to be strong, a Catholic, woman of God. Instead, I feel like a feeble mouse, trying to play a game of balance, or trying to not look like a bad person by disagreeing with the social majorities. I have no strength. I need to learn how to ask God for it.

It's been quite awhile...

I feel like this keeps being my title. I haven't had much to write about, and so I've been quiet. I took a break from the church choir "So my husband and I could attend mass together" but rather we ended up missing skipping it a lot. So I think this week I'm going back.


The holiday season was quite crazy- working 2 retail jobs and all. Now I'm back to very little hours, and trying to catch up on taking care of the house... way behind on this task!

Now, we are looking at moving out to Texas. Hopefully March-April. T will transfer at his job, I am going to work for my dad while I look for work, and I plan to start training to be a midwife with the Association of Texas Midwives (http://www.texasmidwives.com/education/course.asp) I'm really really excited about this. I'm also to attend my first birth this month. My sister-in-law is pregnant with child #2 (a girl) and T and I will be the Godparents! So she invited me to be at the birth so I can see what it's like, plus it's my Godbaby! I'm so excited!

I'm also feeling called to be involved in the pro-life ministries- not sure what yet, but it's been really pulling at my for a while now. I don't really know how to, and many of my friends don't know how much I've changed (used to be pro-choice, a long time ago) so it will be a battle on occasion, I'm sure.

So that's the short of what's going on!

It's been a while

Hello all. Sorry, it's been a long time since I've written. I could come up with a bunch of excuses, but rather, I'll just sum up my recent events.
My husband, T, didn't get re-contracted as a music teacher. It was scary b/c we just weren't sure where God would take us then. He recently has gotten a job here in GA at the Geico center and he is loving it so far. It's exciting to see him tackle on something new- I see something new in him now, in his spirit. I can't really explain it, but it's exciting all the same.
I'm working 2 jobs- Dressbarn and Bath and Body Works. I really like BBW but they don't work me often- like 3-9 hours a week. (usually it's 3 hours a week, plus 4-7 more if we have a floorset) However, I got a phone call from my manager and I got an interview today (I guess it is "today" now!) for a semi-management type position- CSL. I'm excited about it! I've been working about 20 at DB which might have to be lessened if I get the new position.

I had lost about 30-35 pounds by our wedding (almost exactly a year ago! Already!) and I've gained it back. It's really bothering me- I gotta lose it again, or it just might kill me! My biggest thing has been foot pain in my right foot. With all the standing and walking and stuff at work, I'm in serious pain with my foot right now. I feel it's a weight issue.... though I will be making a chiropractor appointment soon to see if there are any issues he/she can see. I'm really bummed emotionally about the weight gain, but even more so physically. My menstrual cycle is all screwed up- it's about 40 days long (which is normal for me) but now I'm not ovulating. I bleed, but no ovulation (I can tell by my NFP charting- temp changes and mucus observations.)

I can't believe we have been married a year this weekend! T has planned a surprise weekend which I'm excited about, although I am working Sat and Sun (morning Sat and closing Sun) so it won't be as long as we had hoped.

I have been very stressed about many things. I've been skipping church more often (which isn't helping, I know!) and... I dunno. I've been awake for a hour plus already (and it's 5:30am!)  b/c I woke up to go to the bathroom and now just can't sleep. I hope things improve soon!

I ought to write more often

Hey everyone! I've been lacking a good computer to really type on, plus a loss of inspiration... but anyways...
Lent was a bit of a bomb. I didn't do well with any Lenten goals and I missed church 2 times! ugh! But I'm starting to get back in the groove- I'm reading the Left Behind series. It's alright- but I think it's subconsciously influencing me to think about God more often.
I've been craving adoration- just to be there. I'm wanting to pray with my husband more. I just have this general yearning- it's quite and soft, but there.

I'm looking at going to the Cursillo retreat in November. T and I went to a meeting about that group yesterday. Sounds good!

I'm not sure how to fulfill this crave I got!

catching up

Hey all! It's been a while, no?

Things are going alright here. Spring feels like it's starting to roll in, but it's early. I expect another frost before spring hits us. We got a second dog (it's a story). He is a dachshund. He is not neutered- the humping thing went away after 3 or so days, so we haven't decided on if/when.

So the two pups play well together- things are pretty peaceful. I'm still soul searching, but not stressing like I was. I am wanting to work on weight loss, but I see a long, painful journey ahead. Why do I fear weight loss? I think I fear the confidence I'll have if I do lose it.

Focus on a blog!

Check out this blog! I really like the message- Are you REALLY pro-life?

"So I ask you again, are you REALLY pro-life?

Let's be clear and make no confusion about my heart on this. I am not saying at all that if you use birth control of any kind, you are pro-abortion. I know many different families with many different views on children, and I know how much each one of them loves the Lord. I try and support all my friends in their personal decision that are between them, their husbands, and God.

But I cannot get away from the hypocrisy of it all when it comes to the pro-life movement in general.

Some of the women I knew, who I KNOW are pro-life, were so horrified when they found out my husband and I were getting a reversal and decided to let God bless us with more children. As many as He wanted actually. They were absolutely disgusted. How can I translate that with their STAUNCH pro-life stance? I just can't."

- That's a quote from this blog! Enjoy!

Not much still....

I don't know where I've been lately! I'd say I've been busy, but I really haven't.... I've just been not wanting to write, I suppose.

I've discovered a new blog I'm into... http://iheartorganizing.blogspot.com/
She is so creative and everything she makes is so cute (and useful!) It's got me thinking about stuff around the house I should work on. I always blame money "we don't have the money to get stuff to organize" but I wonder if I can come up with things around my home and re-use them for better purpose!